The Ups

This week is a good example of the highs I experience, and I thought I should post about it before I drop.

For some unknown reason, I have been looking forward to work lately.  Anyone who has known me for any length of time will find this ridiculous.  I hate work.  I like to stay home, and avoid jobs if at all possible.  Miraculously I have managed to hold on to this one for two and a half years, which is for the most part due to my boss' flexibility and understanding of single parenting.  So anyway, when I go to sleep at night, I think about work.  Of course I dread the idea of mornings: alarm clocks, walking, tiredness; but I look forward to being at the office.  I think it is because I have been doing a lot of organizing these past few weeks, and I am starting to think that maybe I will eventually be all caught up.  Organizing my filing and other papers is a little different from the every day that I do, so this is also part of why I want to go to work, it is a bit of change.

I am glad that work isn't such a chore right now, but I know that won't last, so I am trying to take advantage as best I can--getting as much work done in my short shift as humanly possible.

With all this absolute excitement I must question why I am falling asleep at my desk.  I have always been a very tired person, and fell asleep in high school, and at a previous job I had.  However, in the years I have worked at this office, I have only ever been that tired a couple of times.  The last week or two, I have been nodding off, fighting to keep my eyes open, and even laying my head down for a couple minutes sleep until my mother hisses "Wake up!"

I haven't changed my sleep pattern, although I have been slightly busier outside of work, but I don't think it justifies the fatigue.  My only guess is that my previous breakdown took too much out of me for a simple bedtime remedy.  Luckily there is only a couple days until the Thanksgiving long weekend, so I hope I can catch up.

There are a few good pieces of news lately which is helping buoy my spirits, but they all hold the ability to disappoint me and cause another plummet into depression.  I am hoping against hope things work out this month, though, it would be nice to experience a bit of a miracle!  Will update soon!